The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read:
“I’m the Boss!”
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
“Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.
“What’s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?” he demanded to know. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.”
The employee was baffled. “I wrote you a 20-minute speech,” he replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”
The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, “Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight.”
The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, “Oh God, no, not again.”
The slave next to him asked, “Why are you moaning?”
“This only happens when the Captain’s nephew wants to water ski.”
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
More jokes?
Jan Flamend,
In case you run out of conversation. Business jokes, De Cavalerie 2013
http://www.letusboostyourbusiness.com/books-letusboost.html
Peter Sellars just lost a deal. His customer Maria said no to his proposal. He went to see his coach, Hugo Boss, for some advice on how to close a deal.
Listen in to their conversation.
Boss:
Peter, let me tell you a few things about sales psychology.
Peter:
I am all ears, Boss.
Boss:
In the pre-sales phase, before you close a deal, how do you feel about the outcome?
Peter:
I am uncertain, I don’t know if I am going to win the deal.
Boss:
Exactly. Now, how do you think the customer feels?
Peter:
Maria is quite sure of herself. She is in control, she makes all the possible suppliers believe they have a chance. Yeah, she is quite certain.
Boss:
Exactly, Peter. Very good. How do you feel when your customer has decided in your favor.
Peter.
I am delighted. That gives me a tremendous kick. That’s what we do it for, isn’t it?
Boss:
Sure, Peter. How do you think Maria feels when she has made her decision.
Peter:
I can imagine that she will start worrying about the implementation, about the quality. She must feel quite insecure and uncertain.
Boss:
This is what we call the imbalance of certainty. For the seller, the moment of closing is the culmination of all their efforts; for the buyer, the moment of closing is the beginning of lots of worries and headaches. The seller walks away delighted to cash in their commission, the buyer is on the point of no return where he loses control. You understand, Peter. A purchase is always more important for the buyer than it is for the seller!
Peter:
That is all very interesting, Boss. This mumbo jumbo psychology stuff. But how is this going to help me to close a sale?
Boss:
Listen very carefully, Peter.
The best way to close a deal is to act as if it already has been closed.
Peter:
Eh?
Boss:
The best way to close a deal is to act as if it already has been closed.
Peter:
Sounds interesting, but how do you do that?
Boss:
You don’t talk about the possibility of buying but you talk about the benefits when using the product, or service.
Peter:
Be more specific, Boss.
Boss:
Do you know the difference between If and When in English, Peter.
Peter:
I did go to school, Boss. If is a conditional, and when refers to a moment in time.
Boss:
Exactly, Peter. You are a good pupil.
Do you understand the difference between these two sentences:
“Maria, if you buy this solution from us, that would be a good win-win deal for the both of us.” or
“Maria, when your people are improving their productivity, they can always count on our service people to support them.”
In the when-sentence, you focus on the post sales, on the implementation, on the actual benefits your customer will have.
Peter:
Sounds neat. Let me give it a try.
Peter requested new meeting with Maria.
Peter:
Maria, what kind of training do you think we should give your people to make sure they make optimal use of this solution?
Maria:
It is a big change. It differs a lot from what they know today. They will be needing intense classroom training and personal coaching on the job.
Peter:
Maria, have you made an estimate of the real cost saving you will obtain in the first year of usage?
Maria:
I am counting on 7 % in my Total Cost of Ownership.
Peter:
Well, Maria, similar customers I have achieved 10 percent. Now, when do you want to have the solution up and running?
For more: have a look at
http://www.explania.com/en/channels/work/selling-skills
‘Why would I hire you as Key Account Manager at IBM, mister Jacobs?’
‘Well, that is very simple. I am the best sales man in the world.’’
‘I am convinced that you are convinced of that, but you can you convince as well of that?’
‘That is very easy. I will tell you the secret of my success.’
‘I can’t wait.’
‘The secret of my success is my me meeting.’
‘You meet with yourself and that makes you the best sales man in the world?’
‘Indeed.’
‘A good sales man needs to organise himself very well. It is key that he uses his time in an optimal way. You follow?
‘Sounds right, yes.’
‘Every morning and every evening I have a meeting with myself, and then I look at my to do’s, meetings, travel, and I plan all that as acurately as I possibly can.’
‘Okay.’
‘You cannot manage a company on the basis of results. A manager who thinks he can do that, is a complete and utter idiot.’
‘Then there are many idiots around.’
‘When results are there, it is too late. When they’re good, they congratulate themselves for it, when they’re bad, it’s the sales teams’ fault.’
‘Sounds familiar. So, what is the solution?’
‘Managers should not look at the results, but they should watch the efforts that are being done to get to those results. Customer meetings, phone calls, proposals, events, marketing campaigns, mails, that sort of thing. Well, those efforts need to be done in the right direction, at the right customers, with the right people. I am convinced that most sales people do at least 20 % expendable visits with customers who are never going to buy.’
‘Sales Effectiveness is indeed an issue at many companies. Quite a commonplace. I still don’t know why you are the best sales person in the world.’
‘I started my sales career at Zurich Insurance in Brussels and after the first year I did 40 % more revenue than my collegues who had been selling insurance for more than twenty years.’
‘Great. And how did you do that?’
‘By being smart, by choosing the right direction for my efforts, by working hard and by learning Polish, Chech, Hungarian and a few other Eastern European languages.’
‘And how did that help?’
‘Well, at the time when the European Union expanded with the former communist countries, all those diplomats, and their families, who came to live in Brussels, they needed insurances, car insurance, fire insurance, pension saving programs and so on. So, I learned those languages, went to see those people, via the embassies, through expat clubs and so. I became their Mr Insurance. They felt at ease with me, I solved some of their admin problems, gave them tips and tricks on how to survive gracefully in Brussels. They bought all their insurance with me.’
‘So now, you want to show your skills in another sector, to convince yourself that you have still got the golden touch.’
‘Indeed.’
At
Valueselling.be we often get questions concerning the future of sales. In times of internet and e-commerce what can possibly be the contribution of a sales person? So many aspects of sales are now automised, webified, or videofied in such a way that one wonders: what is the added value of the face to face sales engagement?
The Boston Consulting group has made an interesting matrix that contains elements of an answer to this very relevant question.
This matrix shows the various sales models one needs to master in today’s business environment. The level of complexity rises with every step, as does the impact a sales person has on the customer. Let’s take the PC business in the banking sector. On the horizontal axis, we see that the number of PC suppliers has decreased over the years. Who remembers Atari, Commodore, Tulip, Burroughs, Mitac, Gateway, Packard Bell, Sinclair, Compaq, Silicon Graphics, Apollo Computers, all the white brands? Just a few giants have survived: HP, Dell, Apple, Acer. We also see a consolidation on the customer side: through mergers and acquisitions we are left with huge banks that are very complex organisations with complicated decision processes. The bigger they become, the more complex their needs are, the more levels you need to be able to explain the value of your solutions on.
In the beginning of the PC industry, you needed to sell the features of the product (80288 CPU, MS DOS, RAM) to an IT manager, then the product commoditised and you had to add services to keep the margin high. Then you sold entreprise-wide productivity solutions and you became a trusted adviser to the customer, somebody who guides and inspires his or her account in the complex world of information systems. You would need to talk to the CFO or CEO to have an impact. A trusted advisor who councels high level people on new trends in the industry, and you can even find ways to collaborate intimately and develop new products together for joint customers. You could even become an ally of the board.
Clearly feature selling can better be done by a machine, counceling however needs be done by an intelligent, comitted, customer oriented sales person keen on advising his customer. This is where sales people can create value and justify their existence, and salary. This is also where the granting factor is at play. This is where a grateful customer grants the business to the one who advises him best.
At
Valueselling.be we do quite a bit of sales coaching in the field, and we continue to be flabbergasted by the ability of sales people to kill their own sale.
Only last week, I could observe this exchange between a senior account manager of a leading IT company and a customer:
‘You might think that the competition has a better product. Your people might need some time to get used to our product. It is not easy to use. We hear that all the time.’
And a few moments later:
‘You might think that this is all quite expensive, and I wouldn’t blame you if you did. It is a lot of money.’
Later, in the car, I asked the account manager how he thought the meeting went. He was quite happy with it.
‘It was good of me to take the side of the customer. I think he trusts me now.’
I then asked him what he thought his chances were of winning the deal.
‘I am pretty sure they will buy. Ninety percent probability. What do you think, coach?’
My assessment was 10 percent and I told him that.
‘You don’t know what you are talking about. I know this customer. They need my product.’
I replied as follows:
‘They probably need your product but you advised them not to buy it. You pointed out all the negative aspects and disadvantages of the solution: worse than the competition, not easy to implement or to use. Too expensive. The customer must be an idiot if he wants to buy this from you.’
He was taken aback by this feedback.
I continued:
‘Was the customer going to mention price as a problem? You don’t know that. This is what we call self-inflicted objections. Sales people create more objections than a customer can think of. Sales people hear objections all the time, so they start to project them onto their customers.’
He blushed, and he said that he might have needed to stress the positive points, the advantages. He sounded a bit exasperated.
‘What do you want me to do, then, coach. This product does have some shortcomings. You want me to lie to this customer?’
No, I said, never lie to a customer.
‘As a sales person you need to be convinced of the value of what you are selling. If you don’t believe in your company or your product, it will be hard to be truly persuasive. You need to listen very carefully to what your customer really says. Take your time to let your customer explain what his or her objections are. And then deal with them. Don’t start by projecting them on him.’