Two medical representatives were sitting in a doctor’s waiting room.
Both are fiddling on a device on their lap.
“You have an iPad?”
“Yep.”
“Happy with it?”
“Yep. Great gadget. Love the video streaming. Helps pass the time while waiting for the doctor to sell him our new antibiotic. You a Samsung?”
“Yes, I am an Android man.”
“You’re sure?”
“The screen is great, the internet is really fast, and I can work on my mail. Fill in my visit reports.”
“Right. You bought it yourself, or did the company buy it for you?”
“It is the standard equipment of sales at Sanofi , you know. Did you buy it yourself?”
“No, at Novartis, it is part of the package.”
“It is the New Normal for sales people. I wouldn’t know what to do without my Galaxy.”
“iPad is better though.”
“That is not true.”
“Apple is superior.”
“Android is open.”
“Apple has iTunes.”
“Android has a market share of 73,4%.”
“What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge?”
“No idea.”
“Cool music.”
“Do you know the joke about the iPad and the Galaxy engineers who went to a conference?”
“Three iPad engineers and three Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers notice that the iPad engineers bought only one ticket between them.
The Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers ask the iPad engineers how they plan on getting to the conference.
“Watch and learn,” one of the iPad engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three iPad engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says “ticket please!”
The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor.
The Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers are impressed, and decide that’s what they will do on the trip back. Then on the return trip, the Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers notice that the iPad engineers haven’t bought any tickets.
“How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?” they ask.
“Watch and learn,” one of the iPad engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the iPad engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, “ticket please!”
“Ha, ha ha. Nice one!”
“Let me tell you another one. A pharmaceutical salesman was on standby at the airport.
Finally his name was called to take the last seat on the airplane.
His luck was magnificent when he saw who his seat mate was for the two hour trip – a stunning woman whose reading glasses did not veil her beauty and whose severely tailored business suit did not succeed in concealing her voluptuous figure. He tried to engage her in polite conversation about the weather but only received a stare for his efforts. The salesman continued, trying topic after topic.
Finally, the women put down her work and said, ‘Look, I’m very busy and besides I’m very particular about men.’
The salesman asked, ‘Well what do you look for?’
‘There are three types that attract me: American Indians for one – they are so strong and reputed to possess great stamina. I guess I’m also attracted to Jewish men. They are good listeners, sensitive to a woman’s moods and very generous. And then I guess I like doctors because they know so much about a woman’s body.’
‘By the way,’ she added, ‘my name is Sylvia Williams, what’s yours?’
He thought quickly and said, ‘Tonto Bernstein, M.D.’
“Ha, ha, ha.”
“Do you know the joke about the mobile phone?”
“Was it a Samsung or an iPhone?”
“Think it was a Nokia. Several men were in a golf club locker room. A mobile phone rings. ‘Yes I can talk,’ says the man answering the call, ‘You’re shopping are you? That’s nice.’
The listening men smile to each other.
‘You want to order those new carpets? Okay… And they’ll include the curtains for an extra five thousand?… Sure, why not?’
More smiles among the listeners.
‘You want to book that week on Necker Island?… They’re holding the price at twenty-two thousand?… Sounds a bargain… You want a fortnight?… If that’s what you want honey, okay by me.’
Smiles turn to expressions of mild envy.
‘And you want to give the builder the go-ahead for the new conservatory? Seventy five thousand if we say yes today? Sounds fair… sure, that’s fine.’
The listeners exchange glances of amazement.
‘Okay sugar, see you later… Yes, love you too,’ says the man, ending the call.
He looks at the other men and says, ‘Whose phone is this anyway?…’”
“Hey Paul, I have a problem.”
“Put it on the table, Luc.”
“I don’t know how to motivate my sales team.”
“That’s not always easy, but it is the most important task of a manager, Luc.”
“I do not think it’s me, Paul. People today are so dissatisfied, so spoiled, so self indulgent. Always moaning and complaining. You have no idea.”
“It’s also a bit of the zeitgeist, Luc. Tough economy, pressure, uncertainty.”
“The atmosphere is bad, a lot of negativity, tension between the different departments.”
“Look Luc, there are three ways to motivate people.”
“Ah, I’m listening. Paul is teaching.”
“There is the financial dimension, the symbolic and the emotional.”
“Go on!”
‘Financial: a salary raise. Would that help? Strangely enough money is the least motivating. Financial incentives do not work. I’ll give you an example. The inhabitants of the Swiss village Wolfschiessen were asked whether they would agree to the placing of an underground nuclear storage unit some time ago. 50.8% of the population agreed. In a second survey the population was promised a bonus of 5,000 euros per capita. How many people were still in favor of the proposal?”
“80%?”
“No, 24.6%.Weird, isn’t it? A financial bonus repels rather than encourage it.”
“I’ve noticed that the motivational effect of a salary rise is rapidly diluted. One will find that quite normal, while the company has spent a lot of money. You’re probably right. What do you mean by the symbolic one?”
“The title on your business card. Imagine you call your account manager senior account manager. The self-esteem of those people is rising. You have no idea how important titles are!”
“OK. It does not cost much and I see quite a few people who I can make happy. And what you mean by emotional compensation?”
“Look, Luc, people want to be happy.”
“Not all of them, Paul. Some are compulsive complainers.”
“People need attention. It is up to the managers to give that precious attention. In return they get the results they expect. Since the quality of our lives is so strongly influenced by our work, that work should be a positive experience. Employee satisfaction is determined not only by the salary, car and options. The highest employee satisfaction is achieved through personal development. It is the job of managers to create an environment such that employees can do their best work, and that they remain motivated by the opportunity to grow in their job, to grow in their responsibilities. Hence the enormous importance of real coaching and real training. And recognition.”
“Wow. That’s not easy.”
“You can do that, Luc. You know the concept of ‘flow’?”
“Tell me.”
“Flow is a form of happiness experience that you can reach. Engaging in performing a task, if you’re in flow, you don’t think, wow, I’m fine, but when the job is over, you realize that you forgot the time that you were engaged in full concentration and without a moment of hesitation. In flow you are hardly aware of yourself, and you’re also not realizing that others are seeing you. The research of Mihaly Csikszentmihaly, professor of psychology at the University of Chicago, shows that people are more likely to experience flow at work than in their leisure time.”
“Bring some flow to your sales team, Paul.”
“OK. Let’s flow.”
Bert is a high flying executive searcher – call him headhunter –, and Marc is his customer. Listen in to their conversation.
“You’re too expensive, Bert.”
“What do you mean, Marc?”
“Your fee is too high.”
“I can’t believe my ears, Marc.”
“Come on, Bert. Don’t play dumb.”
“You’re the first person who ever told me that I’m too expensive.”
“Others might not dare.”
“What do you mean by too expensive. Marc? Too expensive compared to who or what.”
“It’s too much money.”
“Too much in comparison with the budget that you have for hiring?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Compared to the competition?”
“You’re a lot more expensive than the other headhunters.”
“What’s the difference, Marc?”
“At least ten percent.”
“Ten percent. Mmm, interesting. Suppose that I would use the same fee as the competition, who would you work with, Marc?”
“Ah, you, of course!”
“And why would you work with us?”
“You know the industry, you find good candidates, you are professional. We have never had any problems with you.”
“Maybe it’s for all these reasons that I’m 10% percent more expensive, Marc.”
“That’s true, but I have to economize.”
“Suppose you are working with the cheap headhunter, and the result is not good, what would that cost you?”
“Well, uh.”
“What if it takes three months longer, or suppose that you do not get the right candidate. Or that you hire the wrong candidate, and that is bad for your business. What would that cost you, Marc?”
“I know where you are going with this, Bert, and you do it so cleverly, but I have to economize.”
“Why do you need to economize?”
“What sort of question is that? Business is not so good. Head Office says that we have to squeeze our suppliers. I am just doing what the bosses tell me to do, Bert.”
“Actually, you are doing this against your will, Marc.”
“Sure, do you think I enjoy putting suppliers under pressure?”
“What is the most important thing in your business, Marc?”
“Our people, of course!”
“You might run the risk of bringing the wrong people on board?”
“Again, you’re trying to scare the hell out of me, you sly fox, but that will not work, Bert.”
“Probably you would be better off economizing on your non-critical suppliers: electricity, leasing, photocopying …”
“We’ve looked at all options, Bert.”
“We’ve known each other a long time, Marc, and we’re not going to cause problems for each other.”
“Go on, Bert.”
“Suppose I were to consider the possibility of a minor discount, what would you do in return?”
“Then you can continue to work with us, Bert.”
“That is not a consideration, Marc, and that is not motivating for us.”
“You also need to consider our interest, remember the importance of your client, Bert.”
“I am willing to negotiate a new financial agreement, if we can do all the search work for you.”
“You want a monopoly.”
“You just said it yourself: We know the industry, we nd good candidates, we are professional. You have never had any problems with us. Direct quote. I am looking at your interest, Marc. What do you think?”
“We might want to look into this…”
“Are you still a fan of Anderlecht? We can discuss it this weekend in the corporate box at Anderlecht…”
“You’re incorrigible, Bert.”
“That’s what my wife always says, Marc.”