“You are!”
“My name is Sabine Orwell, Optima Banking.”
“OK.”
“I would like to make an appointment with you.”
“Why?”
“To see how we can help you.”
“What makes you think I need help?”
“It never hurts to hear what we can do for you.”
“That’s what George Bush also said to the Iraqis.”
“Excuse me?”
“Go on. You want to help me and therefore you want to have a conversation with me.”
“Indeed.”
“Is there a specifc area in which you are specialized?”
“How do you mean?”
“Is it about cooking or cleaning?”
“We provide financial advice.”
“Hahahahahaha.”
“What’s so funny, Mr Hornby?”
“I have no money, so I don’t see why I need financial advice.”
“Well, exactly for that very reason, Mr Hornby.When you use our advice, you will certainly have more money.”
“Who says I want more money?”
“Well, we looked into your files at the National Bank, and it is clear that you can use some help.”
“What was your name again?”
“Sabine Orwell, Optima Banking.”
“Mrs Orwell, is it a pyramid scheme that you want to sell me?”
“Absolutely not, mister Hornby.”
“Wetlands in Usuhuaia? Time Sharing on the West Bank? A Hamburg Mannheimer pension plan? Subscription to Trends Magazine? A King Kong movie on Telenet?”
“What do you think of us?”
“I suspect the worst.”
“How can you say that?”
“You contact me unsolicited with an unclear excuse, you do an unauthorized investigation into the finances of my company, suggests that you do …”
“If I may, Mr Hornby, that information is public and anyone can access those data.”
“That’s right, and who wants to know and why? Who would want to sift through all that data?
“Someone who means the best for you.”
“No, someone who wants to sell me something, some kind of financial product that I do not need.”
“All I want is that you give me the opportunity to help you.”
“Do you know that Tele-prospecting is forbidden in Germany?”
“Uh, no.”
“It’s a correctional offence.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I can report you to the Ministry of Economic Afffairs for deceptive trade practices.”
“I just want to talk to you.”
“I can also start a civil claim and sue you for stalking.”
“Uh, well, that’s certainly not the intention.”
“I may be able to come and visit you in prison and to see how wé can help you.”
“Uh.”
“Stop, OK. Uncle David, this was not realistic. None of our prospects are so difficult.”
“Well, my darling Sabine, you wanted a roleplay with a difficult customer to prepare your assessment for a commercial position at Optima Banking. Are you sure you want to do this kind of work??”
“We are not going to have that conversation now.”
“I hate bankers. We should hang at least one a day.”
“You’re not going to hang your favorite godchild, are you, Uncle David?”
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